Tuesday, July 23, 2024
Just For Laughs
A man walks out on his front porch one day and sees a gorilla in the tree on his front lawn. He calls animal control and about an hour later a man shows up with a ladder, a pit bull, and a shotgun. The animal control employee tells the man, "I'm here to get the gorilla out of your tree. I'm going to use this ladder to climb up the tree and shake the branch the gorilla is on to knock him to the ground. The pit bull is trained to go after anything that falls from the tree and bites their prey which calms the animal down so I can put him in the truck." The man says "Okay, I see what the ladder and the pit bull are for but what is the shotgun for?" The animal control employee says, "Oh, that's for you. In case I fall out of the tree instead of the gorilla, shoot the dog."
On This Day in History
July 23 Events: 1829 - The typewriter is invented. 1885 - Ulysses S. Grant, 18th President of the United States, dies. 1962 - The Telstar satellite relays the first live trans-Atlantic television signal. 1982 - The International Whaling Commission decides to end commercial whaling.
Famous Birthdays
July 23 Famous Birthdays: 1936 - Don Drysdale (Baseball pitcher) 1961 - Woody Harrelson (Actor) 1965 - Slash (Guitar player for Guns n' Roses) 1967 - Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Actor) 1968 - Gary Peyton (Basketball Player) 1973 - Nomar Garciapara (Baseball player) 1989 - Daniel Radcliffe (Actor - Harry Potter)
Where Did That Come From?
TO BUILD A FIRE UNDER SOMEONE: We all know that mules are pretty stubborn. Sometimes they just firmly set their legs and well... So, farmers decided that building a small fire under the mule's belly would get him moving. There's no proof this was really done a lot by muleskinners. But, the idea and imagery was such that people started using the phrase to mean "trying to get someone to move or take some action."
Betcha Didn't Know This!
While the state of Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the USA, that’s really not true: technically, it is #47. Congress “forgot” to vote on admitting Ohio into the Union until August 7, 1953.
On the Light Side
Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher. I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately. "You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied. "I just threw my wife's credit cards in there."
Kids Say the Darndest Things
The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she announced. “One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.” Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, “I’m not free. I'm four.”