Just For Laughs
One evening an old farmer in Florida decided to go down to the swimming pond he had dug several years ago, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit from his orchard he’d pass along the way. When he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We're not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned, “I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, “I'm here to feed the alligator.”
On This Day in History
MAY 31: Events: 1930 First woman to run 100 yards was Stella Walsh in 10.8 seconds. 1967 Evel Knievel jumps 16 cars on a motorcycle at Ascot Speedway in California. 1993 American Joni Phelps is First blind woman to climb Mt. McKinley.
MAY 31: Famous Birthdays Tom Berenger, actor Clint Eastwood, actor Colin Farrell, actor Brooke Shields, actress Peter Yarrow, singer, composer
Where Did That Come From?
SIDEKICK: The term comes from the days of notorious pickpocket activities in London. They had their own language for different pockets that were the style of the day. For example: Jerve as a vest pocket. And Kick was a pocket on the side in a pair of pants. And the Pratt was the back pocket. Of all the pockets, the most difficult to pick was the KICK, because it was close to the victim's leg and was always moving. After a while, smart people discovered that the safest spot to keep your money was in his "side kick" or side pocket of his pants. Today the term now means a faithful partner or pet that is by ones side, often even helpful and protective.
Betcha Didn't Know This!
In 1980, Detroit presented Saddam Hussein with a key to the city.
On the Light Side
Late one night a burglar broke into a house and while he was sneaking around he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you." He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesus is watching you." In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesus is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes." Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence." The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the Rottweiler Jesus."
Kids Say the Darndest Things
During a Sermon…Dear Lord, “the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous face. “Without you, we are but dust…” He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, “Mom, what is butt dust?”