Just For Laughs
A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put ,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the ,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
On This Day in History
July 17 Events: 1821 - Spain ceded Florida to the United States. 1955 - Disneyland opens in California. 1961 - Baseball Hall-of-Famer Ty Cobb died at age 74. 1990 - The Minnesota Twins become the first team in Major League Baseball to turn two triple plays in a single game.
Famous Birthdays
July 17 Famous Birthdays: 1889 - Erle Stanley Gardner (Author) 1917 - Phyllis Diller (Comedienne) 1947 - Camilla (Duchess of Cornwell) 1952 - David Hasselhoff (Actor) 1960 - Mark Burnett (TV Producer) 1983 - Sarah Jones (Actress)
Where Did That Come From?
SLUSH FUND: Back in sailing days, a ship's food supply was stored in a lot of salt pork. After frying or boiling, a lot of fat (aka slush) was left over. Some of it was used to grease timbers. But, they had LOTS of this stuff! So, a lot was just put into storage. When they got back to port, they sold it. (I'm not sure who buys this stuff and why?) Anyway, the money from selling their slush was used to buy extras for the crew. Soon, the term "slush fund" was used to represent money that was taken from a normal budget and used for extras. More commonly, the extras meant to pay bribes for corrupt purposes, etc.
Betcha Didn't Know This!
The greatest snowfall ever in a single storm was 189 inches at the Mount Shasta Ski Bowl in February, 1959.
On the Light Side
Everyone raises a hand except one little girl. 'Janie,' the teacher says, surprised. 'Why didn't you raise your hand?' 'I'm not a Yankees fan.' 'Well, if you are not a Yankees fan, then what team do you like?' 'The Red Sox,' Janie answers. 'Why in the world are you a Red Sox fan?' 'Because my mom and dad are Red Sox fans.' 'That's no reason to be a Red Sox fan,' the teacher replies, annoyed. 'You don't always have to be just like your parents. What if your mom and dad were morons? What would you be then?' 'A Yankees fan.'
Kids Say the Darndest Things
On the way back from a cub scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, "Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?" After my son hemmed and hawed a while, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, "You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer."