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Just For Laughs
Over the years, my husband and I have usually managed to decode the cute but confusing gender signs sometimes put on restaurants' restroom doors (Buoys and Gulls, Laddies and Lassies, etc.), but every so often we get stumped. Recently my husband Dave wandered off in search of the men's room and found himself confronted by two marked doors. One was labeled "Bronco," and the other was designated "Cactus." Completely baffled, he stopped a restaurant employee passing by. "Excuse me; I need to use the restroom," Dave said. Gesturing toward the doors, he asked, "Which one should I use?" "Actually, we would prefer you to go there," the employee said, pointing to a door down the hall marked "Men." "Bronco and Cactus are private dining rooms."
On This Day in History
February 28 Events: 1784 - John Wesley charters the Methodist Church. 1883 - The first vaudeville theater opens. 1940 - Basketball is televised for the first time. 1983 - Final episode of M A S H airs.
Famous Birthdays
February 28 Famous Birthdays: 1906 - Bugsy Siegel (Mobster) 1939 - Tommy Tune (Dancer) 1940 - Mario Andretti (Race Car Driver) 1948 - Bernadette Peters (Actress) 1973 - Eric Lindros (Hockey Player) 1980 - Tayshaun Prince (NBA basketball player)
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On the Light Side
A guy stood over his tee shot for a long time, looking up, looking down, and measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. All this was driving his golfing partner nuts. Finally, his exasperated partner said, "Just hit the stupid ball!" The guy answered, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," said the partner. "There's no way you can hit her from here."
Amazing Facts
The life span of a human hair is 3 to 7 years on average. Every day the average person loses 60-100 strands of hair. But don't worry, you must lose over 50% of your scalp hairs before it is apparent to anyone.
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Kids Say the Darnest Things
Some boy scouts from the city were sitting around their campfire. One scout said, “We’d better get to bed before the mosquitoes eat us up.” Later that night, the boy woke up and looked out of his tent. He saw dozens and dozens of fireflies. Quickly, he woke up his friends and said, “We’d better hide! They’re coming after us with flashlights!”
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Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 AM, flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. Stay alert! They walk among us!
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Where Did This Come From?
READ THE RIOT ACT: Following a law of 1715 if a rowdy group of 12 or more people gathered, a magistrate would read an official statement ordering them to disperse. Anyone who did not, after one hour, could be arrested and punished.
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Betcha Didn't Know This!
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
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Here's a Cute One
There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn." And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!!"
Healthy Tips
FLIP THE PACKAGE OVER. Read nutrition labels to see what's really in your food. Don't be fooled by a flashy front-of-package claim. Don't fear fat – but don't go overboard. Fat has more calories than other nutrients, but it has multiple benefits. If you watch your portions, you can enjoy its decadence.