Just For Laughs

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.” The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, “Not yet. It’s his turn with the teeth.”

On This Day in History

September 15 Events: 1858 - The first mail service begins to the Pacific Coast of the U.S between Tipton, MO and San Francisco, CA. 1923 - Oklahoma was placed under martial law by Gov. John Calloway Walton due to terrorist activity by the Ku Klux Klan. 1928 - Alexander Fleming discovered the antibiotic penicillin in the mold Penicillium notatum. 1935 - The Nuremberg Laws were enacted by Nazi Germany. The act stripped all German Jews of their civil rights and the swastika was made the official symbol of Nazi Germany. 1940 - The German Luftwaffe suffered the loss of 185 planes in the Battle of Britain. 1949 - "The Lone Ranger" premiered on ABC. Clayton Moore was the Lone Ranger and Jay Silverheels was Tonto. 1965 - "Green Acres" premiered on CBS TV. 1978 - Muhammad Ali defeated Leon Spinks to win his 3rd World Heavyweight Boxing title. 1982 - The first issue of "USA Today" was published. 1997 - The domain name "google.com" was registered.

Famous Birthdays

September 15 Famous Birthdays: 1857 - William H. Taft (27th US President) 1890 - Agatha Christie (Mystery writer) 1946 - Oliver Stone (Director) 1946 - Tommy Lee Jones (Actor) 1961 - Dan Marino (NFL Quarterback) 1984 - Prince Harry of Wales (Prince)

On the Light Side

The most important thing for a woman is financial security. *** Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff. ***Although they always buy expensive clothes, they say they never have something to wear. ***Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully. ***Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just ‘an old rag’. ***Although their clothes are always ‘just an old rag’, they still expect you to compliment them. ***Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they do not believe you.

Amazing Facts

A lion’s roar can be heard from 5 miles away!

Kids Say the Darnest Things

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Daa-aad” “What” said the father. “I’m thirsty, can you bring me a drink of water?” “No, you had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later: “Daa-aaad” “What!?” I’m THIRSTY can I have a drink of water?” I told you “NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!” Five minutes later….”Daaaa-aaaaaaad….. When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?”

Idiot Sightings

IDIOT SIGHTING - One of my friends once had his photos taken at a local photo shop. The next day he went to pick them up but the person at the desk refused to give him his photos without the purchase slip and the photos themselves were not enough to convince him that it was actually the right person wanting his photos back. Stay alert! They walk among us!

Where Did This Come From?

TO SELL SOMEONE DOWN THE RIVER: This way of saying someone has been deceived or betrayed probably originated in the late 19th century in the Southern states of America. By then it was illegal to import slaves, so there was an internal trade where slaves were brought down the Mississippi to the slave markets. So if a slave was ‘sold down the river’, he lost his home and family.

Betcha Didn't Know This!

In almost every category - culturally, economically, climatically, racially, linguistically, ethnically, and religiously India is the most diverse countries in the world.

Here's a Cute One

Teacher: Can you think of a solution to end unemployment? Student: Yes, I’d put all men on one island, and women on another. Teacher: What would they be doing then? Student: Building boats!

Healthy Tips

DON’T DRINK SUGAR CALORIES. Sugary drinks are the most fattening things you can put into your body. This is because liquid sugar calories don't get registered by the brain in the same way as calories from solid foods. For this reason, when you drink soda, you end up eating more total calories. Sugary drinks are strongly associated with obesity, type 2 diabetes, heart disease and all sorts of health problems. Keep in mind that fruit juices are almost as bad as soda in this regard. They contain just as much sugar, and the small amounts of antioxidants do NOT negate the harmful effects of the sugar.